Crying doesn't make me look good.

There is a game I like to play with myself, It is called Think of poor starving animals that have incurable diseases and stop feeling sorry for myself game. Maybe you are wondering why I said animals and not children, maybe you aren't but I am going to tell you anyway because this is my mother effing blog. The answer is quite simply I love animals and I barely tolerate children. Not all children mind you just the ones that act like minions of the dead and their sole purpose in life is to make the most heinous noises ever heard to man kind. The kind of child I would push into a busy street and when the mother looks at me with gratitude in her eyes I would be like. "No thanks necessary ma'am." and then jump onto my mighty unicorn and ride over the rainbow. But I digress... back to the subject at hand...*Tries to remember subject*
 
*Gets distracted by kitty cat

*Yells at cat for clawing off a button on the keyboard

*Finally remembers, the be grateful for not having an incurable disease game...something something

  Okay so this game is not fun but I play it when I feel like I'm having a mood swing. Sometimes it works...

This is me, I look exactly like that

 Sometimes it doesn't ...

I don't look this cute while crying

 

 

I look more like this...

 Unfortunately I am not one of those girls that have a small sniffle and one tear running down their perfect high cheek bone. Oh no, my crying face consists of a red swollen nose that is dripping mucus everywhere and because of the dripping mucus nose, I can't breath so I do so out my mouth. This causes me to do those weird hiccup things while unbeknown to me drooling all over my pillow/friend's shirt...etc. My eyes are so bloodshot and puffy it looks like I spent a hour in a heavily chlorinated pool. So all in all I wrote this blog just to tell you that when I cry, I leak bodily fluids out of every crevice on my red swollen face.