For you see I was taking my drivers test at 11am and I had a two hour lesson just before so everything was still fresh in my mind. (Fat lot of help that did) DO YOU SEE WHERE I AM GOING WITH THIS? Yip, I failed again and this time I can safely say that it wasn't my fault. I did everything perfectly up until the last parking where I barely jerked the car which apparently counts as a roll forward. But in my look at the bright side attitude I have decided to indeed look on the brighter side. So with the advise from my anger management I am going to write a letter.
Dear Mr Man who failed me.
You are quite noticeably fat and not just a little bit porky, you have a pot belly and a half. In my caring manner and looking on the bright side of life I wanted to ask you if you are maybe diabetic? Do you have to go to the loo quite often and when you do does it burn when you pee? I hope it doesn't cause I would never wish this upon you.
And on the off chance you slip into a diabetic coma, can you maybe put it in the newspaper or something so I can
celebrate pray for you.
I also see you are going bald but that's okay, I bet your wife doesn't regret marrying you even though your wedding ring can never come off since you gotten so fat unless you cut it it off which could be a likely possibility with your diabetes and all.
That was just yesterday and when my aching body woke me up this morning at 5am with coughing, slight nausea and weather so cold my face was numb that was just the topping of this shit filled cake. So I have been laying in bed the whole day, complete with backache, stomachache, headache, sore throat, constant coughing, bleeding from the vagina and paining legs, all the symptoms of my period and my mild flu, I am gloriously happy.
Takes napkin and wipes the bullshit from her mouth*
Okay, I am miserable. My body is uncomfortable from lying down and when I get up my body gets so sore I walk with a slight hump. (haha, 'hump') I can't even enjoy the junk food my wonderful mommy bought for me. Now that is a tragedy.
But so as to not get you down, here is a couple of amusing pictures that have kept me sane today...
Is it a yawn, is it a sneeze? I... don't... know!
|Llama say what?|
Thought CakeBetch would get a kick out of this one:
|"I will destroy you"|