Beware of Doug (My special friend-part two)

I have a friend named Douglas. He is very handsome and has a great arse. He doesn't know that when he is looking the other way, I will perve over his marvelous buttox and when I am lying all alone in bed I will hug my pillow pretending that it is actually him I am caressing. Okay I am lying, I just wrote all that to make him feel uncomfortable cause he reads my blog (And I love him for it)

 

What can I say about Doug? Well, he has a friend called Keiran, they get up to all kinds of fuckery together, for example:

Doug: Let's start writing a story in a manner where I write a section and you write the next section and so forth.
 Keiran: No because it's lame
 Doug: we can write the whole thing online
 Doug: ok let's start
 Doug: Once upon a time
 Keiran : The end
 Doug: fucking brilliant
 Doug: best seller

Or:

Doug: Can I have a bite of your pie?
Keiran: Yes. *Gives Doug his pie
Doug: Thanks. *Throws pie out the window 

Douglas can also be quite an asshole, outrageously funny but still an asshole...

Like:

1) Telling a girl that his name is Johnny so after romancing her in a club, she can't find him on facebook. 
2) Prank calling a hairdresser whilst pretending to be an old paraplegic. He actually got them to travel to his grandmothers house for a personal visit for a haircut. (He got into a lot of shit for that one)
3) Not having the balls to tell a girl that he had just kissed that he had in fact, actually just thrown up a couple of minutes before.
4) Innocently going out for a supper on a Wednesday night but ended up getting so trashed that he had to take two days off work.
5) Putting his chewing gum on my sneakers since he was too lazy to go to the bin. (Thanks a lot fucker)

Yes, he is indeed handsome.

This is the most normal photo I could find.
These were my other choices...

Douglas is also adopted, him and his brother were orphans until their (Foster) parents adopted them. He was what he affectionately calls himself a street rat or a throw away child. He also likes to say 'Only street kids are allowed to drink beer' whilst sipping on said beverage.


And now for my best Douglas quotes:


"The temptation to urinate in a bath is difficult to overcome"


"There is not enough beer in a bottle to fully satisfy my needs"


"I put on my underpants and I walk amongst my cabbages asking them if I make them feel sexy."

"Fuck"


These have nothing to do with Doug:

 

 

Have an awesome week, everyone!

My 'special' friend

I have a friend who is very special to me, in more ways than one. Her name is Natascha, we have been friends for thirteen years and in those thirteen years we have had many adventures from building huts, putting on shows, riding rusty bikes, building scarecrows, painting our feet and demolishing tiny brick houses.

There is a vlei opposite her house with an enormous field and giant reeds and seriously disgusting dirty water in which we canoed in. I think we got a couple of unknown diseases from that experience.

We love to bake but just not together...

For some reason something will always go wrong. This is not an exaggeration, either the egg whites won't go stiff (immature giggle) or the oven won't heat up, the cake mixture will separate, biscuit dough won't have the correct texture or we will just read the recipe wrong. So now we have a rule, it is pretty simple, each of us gets one half of the kitchen and we bake two separate things.

 

We get some pretty stupid ideas like making up an interpretive dance for a house...I don't even know what that means anymore I just know we did it. Trying to organize a wedding for her mom who is not even engaged, we even made the dress and by made I mean taking a piece of old stained white cloth and gluing beads to it.

We have even built a scarecrow for no reason.

That is me holding my buttox. That is Tash feeling up the scarecrow

 Tash is my special friend. She is the only person I know who will be reversing and hit a pole with the front of her car or will eat chips during a game of hide and seek, she lost you see cause in order to find her all you had to do is follow the sound of the packet rustling and the crunchy chewing.

Coming out of the closet is fun.

I have more tales of my dear special friend but for now I must bid you adieu.