Misery and Merriment: Things that suck (Part one-Periods)

My little rant today is about periods. In fact I wrote a letter to my reproductive organs.

Dear ovaries

Fuck you.

Sincerely

Chelsey

Now I don't want to sound like a bitch but really? Is it actually necessary to and I quote "expel your lining?" Why can't you just clean up once in a while? You know just give it a little sweep? Why do you have to put in a whole new lining? I don't put in new carpets every time I spill something on it. So why is sperm so special? You do realize that sperm is pretty common and in one man they make like millions of them everyday and with just two testicles to hang out in, it can be pretty cramped so why bother cleaning house for just one of those little buggers? I'm sure he won't mind. In fact it is more than they deserve.

This is what they deserve.

Whatever you do, don't get me started on the other glorious changes that happen whilst on the period. Actually I think it is time for another letter:

Dear backache and bloating

Fuck you.

Kind regards

Chelsey

"Menstruation which includes bleeding from the vagina is found mainly among humans and similar animals, such as primates. In many mammals, the endometrium is reabsorbed by the animal" -Thank you google.

The whole bleeding from the vagina thing? That wasn't a smooth move on natures part. We already feel like killing something do they have to tempt us with the sight of blood? Surely that was a mistake.

The following symptoms may be felt by some women on the days leading up to her period - symptoms of premenstrual syndrome:

Abdominal cramps
Bloating
Irritability
Pains, especially backache
Feeling generally emotional or troubled
Lack of concentration
Breast tenderness or swelling
Slight weight gain
Binge eating
Headaches
Depression
Insomnia

Are you actually freaking kidding me? So not only are we sore in our stomach's, back and head, we are also emotionally troubled and can't sleep? I am surprised that we are the more gentle of the sexes