Wednesday, 27 April 2011

I hate it when Mother Nature has her period.

I live in South Africa, it is a beautiful country with amazing views and an interesting culture but I am here to bitch about the weather. None of the previous things I have just mentioned matter when it is so cold, this happens:
Not moving

We are supposedly 'lucky' in the sense that we have cold winters and hot summers. I do not agree. I am currently freezing my arse off huddled under my duvet with frozen fingers because I lost my gloves during the course of summer. My nose is red and because when said nose is cold it won't stop dripping mucus. (gross but whatever, at least it is clear and watery.) (Shut up) (I needed to add that, it brings the story to life) STOP JUDGING ME! *Hides in corner, rocks gently back and forth

The weather or more importantly, Mother Nature is a bitch. She is old and ugly with a saggy vagina. I think that's why she likes to torment us with air so cold that no amount of padding can cover up the nipple stand.

And when the long winter nights have ended and summer is on its way again all seems right with the world. Or so you think. The treacherous sun beats down upon the earth like domestic violence. The sweltering heat feels like acid upon our parched skin, eyes dry up as all sources moisture gets sucked up into the earths greedy atmosphere. To sum it all up, I spend Summer days lying on my bed in front of my fan. Now you might be thinking, "Chelsey, if all you ever do is sit on your bed all year long, how do you get things done?" Well the answer is quite simple. I don't. Not really...Although there is a little loophole with Autumn and Spring. They must be the seasons everybody secretly loves. When people say they love winter, THEY ARE FUCKING LYING! How can anybody love being so cold it physically hurts.

Maybe I am just being overly sensitive today... *nonchalant shrug


  1. No, I do not think you're being overly sensitive at all. Winter is a horrible, terrible, angry son of a bitch and I hate it. Anyone that says they love winter SHOULD be shot.

  2. There's people out here (Northern Alberta) that love winter. It gets Minus Fucking Fifty Degrees here. can you love that?

    Funny thing is that it is currently nice here and other parts of Canada are getting a "Winter Storm Warning." It's almost MAY.
    sick sick sick,.

  3. Shit, I wrote this nice comment and then closed the browser too quick. Okay.

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  4. LOL, I can relate to this, NSW,Australia has the same weather. I'm either in bed with electric blanke, tv and laptop keeping warm or flat out in front of the fan in summer.....I don't get much done either.